Sore Winners

Once upon a time geeks and nerds were the underdogs. The kids who got sand kicked in their faces and spent their summer indoors with comic books and video games.

Now geeks rule pop culture. Dominate it in a way that the hip-hop scene came to power in the 90s. This is because what we discovered in our quest to avoid the sun—that super heroes and video games are pretty darn rad—turns out to be almost universally true.

Yet there are those who are not content with Iron Man being as popular as Jay-Z. They have to have full compliance from everyone at all times. Dissenting opinions and changes to the status quo are met with a full broadside of hate. There’s a particularly virulent subspecies that likes to attack female pop culture critics with all the frustration that a myopic male virgin can muster.

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

I don’t even enjoy self-identifying with geeks and nerds anymore. Maybe its because I’m an actual freak and they have to wear cosplay masks, but then again I enjoy a good alternate identity myself from time to time. What gets to me is that so many of them don’t want to share fandom. It’s almost as if they are the very overgrown adolescents that muggles have always accused them of being.

There’s a theory going around that says the reason why some geeks—because I won’t let the active assholes define them all—react so emotionally violently towards those they perceive as threatening their hobby (read: their religion, their identity) is a kind of pubescent psychodrama. Access to video games and comics were a privilege that could be taken away by an authority figure, and thus anyone who appears to be threatening that access is treated as a threat.

That makes a kind of sense, and it suggests a solve for this anti-social behavior.

Drive them out of the hobby.

Occupy the spaces in fandom so that there is no room for jackholes. Fill this fucker up with Bronies and Sailor Moon/Teen Wolf slashfic until theres no room to breathe. Tell the mouthbreathers that there’s no room for them here to their face—and then kick sand in it.

If they’re so scared that the comics and games will be taken from them THEN TAKE THEM.

Hateful geeks: you’re on notice.

Learn to play nice or I’m coming for your shit.