Into Darkness

This one goes out to all the pubescent boys (of any age) who are cheering on the theft of private photos of actresses this weekend:

You do realize that the perps who did this are sewer dwellers from the deep web, right? The same type of creeps--if not the exact same creeps--who stole your parents' credit card information during the Target breach.

You know that those crimes--like this one--make a case in the court of popular opinion for more draconian regulation of the Internet. That this incident, along with the harassment of women online by those who dishonor the word "gamer" and the trolling of Robin Williams' daughter, will be used by politicians to push the next version of SOPA.

I guess you don't care about actual freedom: freedom from surveilence, the freedom of self-determination, and actual freedom of speech if you can't use what little voice you have to shit all over others because they--what? Make you feel inadepuate?

Guess what? We all feel inadequate. Not just now and then. All the goddamn time. That's no reason to be a dick, and it's certanly no reason to go cheering on a bunch of digital mobsters because you see the theft of titty pics as some kind of Robin Hood trip.

Here's some self-interest for you, since I know none of this altruistic crap is going to work:

You see, most of you are going to get lucky one day. Some gal is going to overlook your many, many flaws--much like a lady overlooked mine for a while--and she's going to take a chance on you.

What she's not going to do is send you any nude selfies, because that shit just became passe.

So way to go, deep web assholes: you just crapped on cybersex for the rest of us. I'd day "I hope you're happy," but I know you are. Instead I'll just go hate myself for a while now that I have to root for the FBI.