Mr. Peanut Butter

Let me start by answering the question in your head: No, this is not a crossover episode.

In fact I wasn't even going to talk about this today. I was going to talk about The Flash or the latest Multiversal antics that Grant Morrison has dreamed up. In short I was going to indulge a little Thursday morning geek quarterbacking.

Instead I'm going to lament the diet situation.

One of the goals of the month was to get back into the swing of things after about six months of being slack. I'm frustrated that I don't fit into the 34-inch waist pants all that well anymore... and the best ones just don't fit. I'm six pounds up from where I leveled for most of the summer and tweleve from my lowest in June of last year.

And it stings when people tell me "you look great."

I know that sounds crazy. I even think it sounds crazy to feel like crap when someone tells me that I look good. But I know how I feel and I know how the clothes do or don't fit. I know that I can no longer say that I lost 40 pounds. That's the thing that stings the most.

This week the blame goes to peanut butter. Jesus Christ but its frustrating that a heaping teaspoonful or two (okay, or three) can undo a day of eating right. It wouldn't be so bad if the activity level was high enough: but try finding the will to move after being chained to the laptop all day thanks to a dozen work emergencies. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Here's where the good news is: I'm six pounds down from the highest point in Decemeber. If I can hold the line for three days I think I can get back down below 190 and make that stick. That's a huge psychological point right now.

So if you see me out in the wild do me a favor: don't fucking comment on how I look. Just don't.