I Do This Thing...

When I'm out in the world and talking with people--and it can be good friends or total strangers--I'll often do this thing where I'll pause on a word, and then find myself looking up and to the right as I try and draw down the language that I think they'll understand.

It drives me a little nuts to not have just a ceaseless verbal flow, and this is a tick that I've developed in the past decade. I used to just spit verbiage at maximum speed. If you get me drunk enough I still will.

Yet the world has hammered that habit out of me because I've become very aware that while I'm ultra-mega-comfortable slipping from context to context and code-switching my way through cultural shibboleths and technical jargon alike regular folk aren’t so down with that.

We don’t have a singular social dynamic anymore. It’s one of the reasons why people “don’t get the joke” on Twitter and firestorms emerge. Understanding-—whether it be of humor, wisdom or just technical details—requires some common ground.

I’m hoping to get rid of this tick somehow. Maybe through rigorous meditation so that I achieve something closer to non-dual awareness. Maybe by just running out of fucks to give and letting people play catch-up. That latter option is real appealing at this very moment.

The thing is, however, that there is a very real need to do all the code-switching. I just wish there was some way to instal a better transmission in my head, so that I didn’t feel like I was always getting stuck in neutral.